Inventoried Fears

   It's strange the things you come upon during your every day life...
   While closing up at work one evening, I found a scrap of paper lying on the floor.  Curiosity getting the better of me, I read the writing.  Someone had inventoried their fears.  They listed thirty times what scares them the most.  A couple of them were humoring, like the fear of getting fat.  Most were common fears that most people have.
   But as I continued reading down the list, I imagined reading it through this woman's eyes.  I don't know what her circumstances are, I don't know what life has thrown at her, but for a short while, she became vulnerable enough to acknowledge what she is afraid of.
   Not all of us can do that.  Some people go through life with everyone around them thinking that they're okay; closing their worries off from the world and locking their insecurities within themselves.  Often, we let our fears run our lives, make our decisions, and hold us back from pursuing our dreams.  We miss out on opportunities.  We hold tight to our hearts so that they will not bleed.  We confine ourselves within a glass cage, protective but breakable with enough force.

"Fear of not being enough.
Fear of people disliking or not liking me.
Fear of running out of money or resources.
Fear of not being able to pay my bills.
Fear of my daughters going down the wrong path.
Fear of confrontation.
Fear of being alone.
Fear of too much togetherness or intimacy.
Fear of something bad happening to me, illness or accident.
Fear of getting fat.
Fear of needing knee surgery.
Fear of not being attractive.
Fear of getting dementia.
Fear of never living a prosperous life.
Fear of not feeling a connection with others.
Fear of my car breaking down and going into debt to fix it.
Fear of never finding my social group.
Fear of never being able to get my house 'nice'.
Fear of being misunderstood.
Fear of being bullied.
Fear of being attacked.
Fear of saying the wrong thing.
Fear of getting cancer.
Fear of my girls drifting away just as I have with my family.
Fear of never being in love or not meeting my man.
Fear of never going to Europe again.
Fear of having this very small life forever.
Fear of losing my teeth.
Fear of getting old alone."

   I think the most important thing here, whether or not she meant to, is that she forgot her fears.  She left them there on the floor, to be trampled and stepped on underneath our feet.  She let them go and didn't let them weigh her down.
   It is a choice, my dear friends.  It is our choice to remember that our fears have no control over us.  We can choose to be brave.  We can choose to have faith in ourselves.  We can choose to have courage to face another day, bad or good.  In seeing what lies beyond our fears, that is what will help us overcome them.
   There is no such thing as fear-free.  We all have fears and we will always have fears.  But we don't have to let them stop us.  We don't have to let them stop the journey we are on.  Courage is facing your fears, knowing they stand before you.  Like a soldier going to battle, like David before Goliath, like Esther going to save her people.  We have great examples all around us.  Remind yourself of others' stories and be encouraged.